Pay Pal needs Improvements

A few days ago, I needed to use money in my Pay Pal account, but realized I hadn't yet activated my new Pay Pal virtual debit card. My old one expired in February. That's when the debacle began.

Now let me say here that i love being able to use Pay Pal, and other than the problems i speak about here, it's quite necessary if you do financial business online. But be aware that there are things you need to know if you want to avoid what just happened to me.

To be succinct, this is what i wrote to them when i filled out their customer service survey after the fact:

Pay Pal is a valuable tool for online financial business. But there are some inherent issues that would make me use a different service, if you had a comparable competitor, who surpassed you in these areas. I often write reviews for products and services, and am the author of 12 books, with a degree in Professional and Technical writing; I am also an advanced web user and webmaster. So I feel I am qualified to offer you some insight. Your pages are set up in a counter-intuitive way, and there is no simple way to find a real answer. The BIGGEST PROBLEM you have is your customer service. To say "We care about your call" or to in any way suggest that the customer comes first, is not reflected in your process at all. I spent 45 minutes on the phone suffering through recordings of options I wasn't after, and it always cut me off at the end when I couldn't figure out how to reach a REAL LIVE HUMAN. I was also cut off by two of your reps, and they did NOT understand the content and meaning of most of what I said, though i am quite capable of communicating clearly. I had difficulty understanding them as well--a language barrier. If you hire non-Americans, you should ensure that they can speak English clearly, and understand American language. Additionally, since I called because there was no activation link on my pay pal page, and eventually came across something that said my card had been reported stolen or expired, with no other explanation, I had no idea what was happening. I eventually discovered that since I did not activate my new debit card before the old one expired, I couldn't get to my money. And I had to order a whole new card. And this would take something like 4 weeks. I needed my money RIGHT THEN. So this is not only aggravating, but highly inconvenient and unacceptable in the realm of customer service as far as I'm concerned. Your employees should spend less time on memorizing lines like "How may I help you" and more time understanding what real help is.

The Attack of the Wal-Martian

So I went to wal mart to get a re-recordable dvd or two some regular ones.

As I made my way to the front, a rather elderly Wal-Martian, with Spandex pants pulled up high over her pot belly, stood staring at me. I paused, saying, "I'm ready if you are."

She frowned. I noticed her eyebrows seemed unnaturally bushy.

"Are you open?" I indicated her empty line, which she was posted at, like all good Wal-martians, who wish to snag you and encourage you to pay for your selected items before leaving the store.

She nodded, but didn't move.

So I just walked over to the checkout and waited for her to catch up.

She took her post.

I said, "I want to pay for this on one card, and this on another card."

She seemed confused. I wasn't sure if she was still thinking about her confusion of seconds ago, when I made the assumption that she knew what she was there for, or if this was new confusion, but she said, "You want each of these, both on the same card?"

"Nooo." I was wondering how she made it through training. Maybe she hadn't had any. Obligingly, I repeated my request, that I wanted to pay for each item with a different card.

"Why do you want to do that?" she asked, holding my dvd's.

My knee-jerk retort was Nunya damn business why. Just do it. But I'm nice. Usually. "No ma'am, I want to pay for this item on this card--" I held it up. "And this other item on this other card--" another visual. "I want to pay with two different accounts, that's all..."

She seemed baffled, but rang the first one up. I waited for her to press credit, and she didn't. "Okay..." I said.

She lifted her caterpillar eyebrows.

"Okay. You can press credit, now."

She whirled, with one finger already aloft in preparation.

Same thing happened with the next item.

Then, she paused to ask, "Do you want them in the same sack?"

No, I want THIS one in this sack, and this other one in a sack from way over there! Again. Nice. Play nice. I bit back my retort. If this continued, my tongue would be bleeding. "You can put both of them in the same sack, I don't think it will foul up the credit card statement."

She frowned again. The caterpillars mashing together atop her soupy brown eyes. She had a mole on her chin, I noticed. And there was a huge whisker planted in it. I looked down for my sack, but she hadn't rotated the little caddy yet. It was still on her side of the counter. I waited, my own eyebrows high, hoping she'd remember.

"Have a day..." she said.

Have a day? Did she have a glitch in her software? I Am having a day, that's for sure. "Um, could you..." I rotated my finger to illustrate to her again with a visual, because words were obviously not her friend. She actually TURNED AROUND and looked. I guess she thought I didn't want her to watch me as I took my bag.

I grabbed the metal sack arm, and whirled it myself, snatched the bag and was on my way out as she was turning around, still confused, her caterpillars waltzing on her brow.

I hoped this was her first and last day.