Movie Review: The Descent

The basic premise is that a group of women go spelunking, and find themselves in grave danger (or, in danger of a grave) from a cave-in, followed by the presence of mysterious subterranean creatures who seek to make a meal of them.

This was not what I would deem a "b" movie, though it might appear to be so at first glance. It is within the horror genre, but leaning heavily toward thriller/suspense, as any gore or violence is not merely gratuitous but integral to the plot.

There are spoilers in this review, so if you don't want to know these details, stop reading, watch the movie and return here to see if you agree with my assessment, or offer your own. (Comments welcome).

I won't belabor this review with details of actress names or character names, and just cut to the chase, except when needed for clarity. There was some initial character development with the women, and past tragedies which figured into part of the plot, so I was please d to see this aspect. The British actresses were all good, and few things are hotter than a tough, beautiful woman with an accent. I'm sure that was for the benefit of straight males and lesbians. I must offer my thanks, since I am a member of one of those groups.

With proper foreshadowing that caves are pitch black and can play tricks on the mind, the Juno character admonishes the others to remember that they might see things that aren't there, become disoriented, or have other adverse reactions. Once the women have hiked to the cave, and descended into the abyss of it to explore, they traverse various tunnels and crawlspaces until there is a sudden cave-in which blocks their escape the way they came in. At this point, it comes to light that the leader of the women (Juno) had taken them to a cave other than the one they thought they were in. There was no map to refer to for an alternate exit, as the cave had not been explored and she wanted them all to be the first to do so, and have the honor of conquering it and naming it. Thus, they are in a pickle, and Juno is not quite their favorite person anymore. They resolve to move ahead and seek a route out of the cave, as they cannot remain where they are without suffocating or risking another cave-in.

Let me just insert a sidebar here, too: I was already chewing my nails up to this point because I had to watch these women wriggle through these tiny tunnels the size of a paper towel tube--okay, not that small, but suffice to say, this inspired great phobic shivers in me. This is the last thing in the world I would do "for fun." I'd sooner perform an appendectomy on myself with a spoon. One of the women got stuck, and panicked just before the cave-in, and that would have been my reaction. Panic. First, I would not have crawled in that tunnel if I had the leas t propensity to panic in confined spaces. Which I do. So I wouldn't do it to begin with. I would not have rappelled into the cave either. I would not have gone on the trip at all. But if for some mistaken reason I did go on that expedition, I would have taken one look at those tiny tunnels and said. "I'll be up-top at the campsite, sucking on my electronic cigarette. See you later." Then I would have climbed my frantic ass back up to open air. So anyway, it did make me wonder why the writer had that character there in the first place. I guess for extra tension, so she could freak out. IF that character were me, it would not be for extra tension, it would have been for comic relief. I've been laughed at frequently for my responses to uncomfortable situations.

Anyway. I was already freaked out and expecting the tension to increase, because I hadn't yet seen any monsters and I knew they were just around a rocky corner. This was accurate. Juno warned the others to be mindful (mine-full?) that their batteries were going to run out in the flashlights at some point, and they needed to make haste to find an exit from the cave.

Sidebar: if I were going spelunking, I would not rely on the batteries of a flashlight. I would have invented an illumination device that ran on human fear. That visibility would have been celestial. Like a Hollywood Searchlight, or a Supernova. Barring that, I would have brought several of those crank-up flashlights that don't rely on batteries, but on manual turning of a handle. I would have just walked through those caverns, cranking like an organ grinder's monkey. (Wikipedia defined this partly by saying "The grinder would crank his organ in a public place..." I'm not sure I should align myself with something like that, but I was just trying to make a point.).

Back to The Descent: Shortly, one of the women was squinting into the darkness with her paltry flashlight, sure she was seeing a strange man lurking there. Any man who would be down there would naturally be strange. Her friends, of course, told her that her mind was playing tricks on her. I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who knew better, and yelled at the TV "She is NOT imagining the man in the dark! And it isn't a man!" The woman who saw the creature said that maybe he could help them get out. Yeah. In the stomachs of subterranean monkey-men (there's that monkey reference again..although these creatures were pale, I wouldn't label them White-Headed Capuchins.).

Sidebar: I think I just might have been more frightened by the idea of me being trapped in one of those paper-towel-tube tunnels, than by the subterranean humanoids...at least I could have some control over fighting them. And just like the flashlight issue, I would not be reduced to only pick axes. I would have brought an M-16, some tasers, blasting caps, and a machete. Throwing battery acid on them wouldn't have worked, because the fuckers were already blind, having adapted to living underground through some corrupted evolutionary process. (Perhaps the first humans to explore the cave evolved into these creatures...mmm...sequel).

Anyway, if you're stuck in a tunnel, you're stuck. And if there's a cave-in, you're stuck and squished. But if you have weapons and can move, there's a much better chance of survival. I'd rather go out in hand-to-hand combat, than being crushed in between a rock and a hard place.

One problem I had with the movie, like so many of its kind, is that it seems to be filmed too dark. My friend told me she saw all the details I missed. But she has a plasma TV. I reminded her that not everyone has a fancy-schmancy plasma TV, and they ought to make films for people like me, who can't throw their money around....Most of what I saw in this movie was figures with flashlights moving in the dark, screaming, and echo-location clicking, heavy breathing and grunting, slurping, and gnawing sounds. I might have to watch the movie again after I adjust the contrast on my television. My first thought, after the movie ended, was that I would love to see a sequel about what happened after the horror of what happened is shared with proper authorities and a special investigations team returns to that cave to gather information. All kinds of possibilities there. So, Overall, I would rate this film highly, if you enjoy movies that keep you mercilessly pinned down until it's over, while periodically shivering and choking on your soda and spewing popcorn.

And now, a word from the Toddler Party....

"Disorder in American Courts"

“These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.”

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you s***tin’ me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gettin’ laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh…are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Kathleen Madigan--New Favorite Comedian

She is my new favorite stand-up. Hysterical, smart. Laugh every few seconds. Great comedic timing and delivery, sharp wit.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Zipped Off

okay this is funny.

Since getting a new computer and transferring all my files, i am still trying to install the software that i use, as i come across a need for it again.

I needed to unzip a certain program file, so i went online to search for freeware. I found a highly praised compression utility, and when i selected to download it, the install file was ZIPPED.

Now, maybe they were just not thinking out of the box, but how am i supposed to unzip their unzip program, if I'm downloading it because i need a zip program?

Slippity Doo Dah

(or, "I Don't Love my OTHER Shoes")

I've always known that certain footwear was dangerous. The most common culprit in my mind is the high heel-pump-stiletto family of shoes. Aside from the usual hazard of balancing on something so precarious as a shoe with a peg under it (although Pirate-amputees seemed to have mastered it), or in the case of a stiletto, (essentially walking on a PENCIL), there is a profound discomfort to be had in the awkward position of the foot, and the disfiguration that takes place as a woman gets older while partaking of this footwear. Have you looked at 50 or 60 year old woman's foot after she's worn high heels her whole life? It looks like pointy shoes with skin on it, or like her feet have been stricken with a genetic defect. It is beyond comprehension that a woman will do this to herself, often only to make her legs look attractive for men. Not only is it a health hazard for what it does to one's knees, but it doesn't allow a woman to run...and i feel that this is something that women ought to be able to do, for many reasons, which i won't get into here.

But, regardless, I was convinced that a MAN invented the high heel, and as i Googled it to find out, i discovered that this was true, but they invented them for MEN. It seems they needed a shoe that wouldn't slip in the stirrups while riding horseback. Then the style became more of a fashion statement for royalty in the 1500's. Then a female member of royalty adopted the style and women began to wear heels after that. Women discovered that wearing heels made their gate and calves more alluring and sensualized...for the benefit of admiring males.

But even high hells have nothing on the footwear that graces the tootsies of homebodies nation-wide. Nothing is more treacherous than that unassuming pair of footwear that can be found in every household…often they exude comfort, they are the very essence of comfort and repose, but secretly, this footwear is an accident waiting to happen.

I speak of the open heeled house slipper. They don't call it a "slipper" for nothing. Don't be fooled by the padded faux lambs wool, and the cushiness of its sole. Any number of things can go awry with these hideous houseshoes, these sinister slippers. There is absolutely nothing holding them on your feet except your good intentions. You can be taking a step and one of them will slip off, fold over, and crinkle your toes. They can slide off kilter and make you twist your ankle; it's even worse if you're on uneven terrain. Many homes are one-level, and one can scoot along without lifting one's feet, enjoying the gleeful combination of static electricity and unsuspecting cats, (Here kitty kitty…ZZZZZAP!) but this just lulls you into a false sense of security. For eventually, you will lift a foot and it will all be over. You'll find yourself stumbling, mashing the cat's tail, dropping your fresh cup of coffee, banging your head on a railing and cracking every toe-knuckle you have. And squishing your cream cheese bagel into your right ear. It can be even worse than that.

For instance, I am writing this at the foot of my staircase.

I'm going to need a few more minutes before attempting to get up. And when I do, I'm going to put on some sneakers, and use my open-heeled house slippers as cat toys. Maybe they can put their little arms inside them when the basement gets too chilly. Or maybe I'll put them in my lap and use them for hand warmers, myself. But they will never again go on my feet. Especially not right now, since I can't bend over without aggravating those seven slipped discs in my back.

MMA: The Real Deal, though Homoerotic

A few years ago, i developed an interest in boxing. Watching it, not participating. But then, i came across the relatively new sport of MMA--Mixed Martial Arts. I mostly watch WrekCage, World Extreme Cagefighting (WEC) on Versus. It is the fastest growing sport in America, and its fans run the gamut of economic, social and ethnic demographics.

One of the first things i noticed--perhaps absurdly--was that the sport seemed overtly homo-erotic. Scantily clad men would wrestle with each other, their arms and legs entwined in often very sexual poses, and they could win the fight through techniques like "Submission" and "Rear Naked Choke." And some of the clinches these guys wind up in, can be pretty entertaining.


All that silliness aside, it was easy to become a fan of this sport. I am most impressed with the degree to which these guys have to be athletes. I am convinced that they are among the most physically well-conditioned people on the planet. Maybe even THE most.

MMA has more dimensions than boxing. During a match, fighters can use kickboxing, wrestling, and regular boxing, as well as various martial arts, like Jiu Jitzu, Judo, Karate, Muay Thai (moy-tie). But these guys don't wear those puffy gloves. They barely have any padding in the ones they do wear, and yet they stand toe to toe and smack each other with enough force to cause unconsciousness before they even hit the ground. Mostly, though, the sport is about skill and many times, few or no punches are even thrown. it all depends on the skill-set of each fighter and the dynamics of the fight.

There are 9 ways to win an MMA fight:

• Knockout
• Technical Knockout
• Submission
• Referee Stoppage
• Doctor Stoppage
• Corner Stoppage
• Forfeit
• Decision
• Disqualification
• No Contest

Fighters use striking and grappling techniques to conquer their opponent. And according to the URMMA,

1

3:46-24A.15 Fouls

(a) The following are fouls and will result in penalties if committed:
1. Butting with the head;
2. Eye gouging of any kind;
3. Biting or spitting at an opponent;
4. Hair pulling;
5. Fish hooking;
6. Groin attacks of any kind;
7. Intentionally placing a finger in any opponent’s orifice;
8. Downward pointing of elbow strikes;
9. Small joint manipulation;
10. Strikes to the spine or back of the head;
11. Heel kicks to the kidney;
12. Throat strikes of any kind;
13. Clawing, pinching, twisting the flesh or grabbing the clavicle;
14. Kicking the head of a grounded fighter;
15. Kneeing the head of a grounded fighter;
16. Stomping of a grounded fighter;
17. The use of abusive language in fighting area;
18. Any unsportsmanlike conduct that causes an injury to opponent;
19. Attacking an opponent on or during the break;
20. Attacking an opponent who is under the referee’s care at the time;
21. Timidity (avoiding contact, or consistent dropping of mouthpiece, or faking an injury);
22. Interference from a mixed martial artists seconds;
23. Throwing an opponent out of the fighting area;
24. Flagrant disregard of the referee’s instructions;
25. Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his or her head or neck.

Now this is what i would call an extreme sport, yet not at all foolish. When MMA first started in 1993 with the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC), there were injuries, but no more than in any other contact sport. John McCain, however, derided it as "human cockfighting," spearheading legislation that kept the fights from being aired on Pay Per View, and even convinced some states to ban the sport altogether. Ironically, McCain is still a fan of boxing, though he was ringside when boxer Jimmy Garcia was killed in the ring, and also ironically, there are over a thousand documented deaths in boxing, and only 1 in MMA, Doug Dedge, who died in a Kiev hospital soon after an unsanctioned bout in Russia in 1998. But as the real story came to light, it seemed that Dedge also had a preexisting condition that probably exacerbated the likelihood of his demise. He had suffered from blackouts, temporary blindness, vertigo and other ailments, but refused to see a doctor. Those around him during this time stated that his condition seemed to have little to do with any injuries sustained during training and other bouts.

In 2001, when the regulatory bodies began to oversee the sport, after a few years hiatus, there were new fighters and the sport flew in under the radar again. Under The Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts Combat, it then became just as safe as any other sport, and in some ways, safer. Professional mixed martial artist John Rallo, said,

“…it is honorable to tap in our sport. If you quit in a boxing match you may not fight again. Look at Roberto Duran after the "no mas" match with Ray Leonard. He was looked down upon and never regained his edge after that fight. A KO is not the only means of victory. The average boxer takes several hundred blows to the head in a winning performance. In MMA I have been in fights and not even taken one punch. If you take down your opponent and finish the fight on the ground you greatly reduce the chances of being KO'ed or even hit at all. Obviously there are injuries. This is a contact sport. But the injuries are no more severe then those suffered by collegiate wrestlers or football players.”

One thing i noticed after watching only about five bouts, was how many of the fighters seemed to have weird ears. I assumed it had to be a product of the constant grappling and punching they do. It soon became apparent that this was the proverbial "Cauliflower Ear," only not the one mostly known in context of those who are talked to incessantly. It really is a condition. According to Wikipedia,

"Cauliflower ear (also hematoma auris or perichondrial hematoma) is a condition most common among wrestlers, rugby players, mixed martial artists, and boxers. If the external portion of the ear suffers a blow, a blood clot or other fluid may collect under the perichondrium. This separates the cartilage from the overlying perichondrium that is its source of nutrients, causing the cartilage to die. This leads to a formation of fibrous tissue in the overlying skin. When this happens, the outer ear becomes permanently swollen and deformed, thus resembling a cauliflower."

I always wonder why anyone would want to engage in a sport that they knew was going to not only draw blood sometimes, but hurt like hell....but knowing that these guys go at it with copious amounts of training and preparation, and are familiar with what it entails, keeps me from in any way feeling sorry for them. And as a woman, it has the added entertainment of watching two men beat the crap out of each other. obviously, I'm not the only one. My fellow blogger, Maude, said,

"...then we watched WEC (World Extreme Cagefighting), which I'm embarrassed to say, I have been enjoying. I just have to ignore my feelings about the channel VS (on cable--all sports and sports related stuff like sports movies, etc.) because if I stop to think too long about it, it does remind me of everything I despise about machismo and the heteronormative sports culture that simply reinforces all that is fucked up in this world (prescribed gender roles, misogyny, violence, etc.), and yet I find all out brute ass-kicking in a cage entertaining. I don't know what to say for myself. It's embarrassing and troublesome on so many levels I just don't even know where to begin."

Neither do I, Maude, but we like it, so what the hell.

When it Absolutely Positively Has to Get There Overnight

After five days, I haven't received the package with an item i bought, using Fedex delivery.
I just find it odd that UPS and FedEx were supposed to be the alternative, quicker way to send and receive things.....

They should change their slogan to: "Fed Ex, when absolutely positively has to get there in the same amount of time as the U.S. Postal Service."

but i think i know what happened to my package. Here's the video.

No More Hall-Decking for You Guys

Jeremiah 10:2-4: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." (KJV).

Okay, that's it for all you Christmas tree-hugging Christians. If you believe in what the Bible tells you, there will be no more Christmas trees or decorating!

Thou mustest not decketh the halls!

The Attack of the Wal-Martian

So I went to wal mart to get a re-recordable dvd or two some regular ones.

As I made my way to the front, a rather elderly Wal-Martian, with Spandex pants pulled up high over her pot belly, stood staring at me. I paused, saying, "I'm ready if you are."

She frowned. I noticed her eyebrows seemed unnaturally bushy.

"Are you open?" I indicated her empty line, which she was posted at, like all good Wal-martians, who wish to snag you and encourage you to pay for your selected items before leaving the store.

She nodded, but didn't move.

So I just walked over to the checkout and waited for her to catch up.

She took her post.

I said, "I want to pay for this on one card, and this on another card."

She seemed confused. I wasn't sure if she was still thinking about her confusion of seconds ago, when I made the assumption that she knew what she was there for, or if this was new confusion, but she said, "You want each of these, both on the same card?"

"Nooo." I was wondering how she made it through training. Maybe she hadn't had any. Obligingly, I repeated my request, that I wanted to pay for each item with a different card.

"Why do you want to do that?" she asked, holding my dvd's.

My knee-jerk retort was Nunya damn business why. Just do it. But I'm nice. Usually. "No ma'am, I want to pay for this item on this card--" I held it up. "And this other item on this other card--" another visual. "I want to pay with two different accounts, that's all..."

She seemed baffled, but rang the first one up. I waited for her to press credit, and she didn't. "Okay..." I said.

She lifted her caterpillar eyebrows.

"Okay. You can press credit, now."

She whirled, with one finger already aloft in preparation.

Same thing happened with the next item.

Then, she paused to ask, "Do you want them in the same sack?"

No, I want THIS one in this sack, and this other one in a sack from way over there! Again. Nice. Play nice. I bit back my retort. If this continued, my tongue would be bleeding. "You can put both of them in the same sack, I don't think it will foul up the credit card statement."

She frowned again. The caterpillars mashing together atop her soupy brown eyes. She had a mole on her chin, I noticed. And there was a huge whisker planted in it. I looked down for my sack, but she hadn't rotated the little caddy yet. It was still on her side of the counter. I waited, my own eyebrows high, hoping she'd remember.

"Have a day..." she said.

Have a day? Did she have a glitch in her software? I Am having a day, that's for sure. "Um, could you..." I rotated my finger to illustrate to her again with a visual, because words were obviously not her friend. She actually TURNED AROUND and looked. I guess she thought I didn't want her to watch me as I took my bag.

I grabbed the metal sack arm, and whirled it myself, snatched the bag and was on my way out as she was turning around, still confused, her caterpillars waltzing on her brow.

I hoped this was her first and last day.

Pretend it's a Secret...

In regard to my previous post "The First Idiot & His Right-Hand Dick".... I have given friends a heads-up. I told them that if I disappear, they'll know who's responsible. The Secret Service.

I want to know: How come they call it the Secret Service, when we all know about it?

So I have two things on my side: First, those guys in suits with a somber expression and a wire coming out of their ear and always speaking into their cufflink--Could they BE any more conspicuous? And they often wear these vests that say right there across the front, "Secret Service." Are we supposed to pretend we can't read?

So...this Secret Service thing...do the members of this elite bodyguard squad have to lie to their families? Like, "Honey, what exactly IS your job? What do you do every day?"

"I'm in the service industry...."

"What kind of service?"

"I can't tell you, it's a secret. If I told you, I'd have to kill you." (I added that last bit because I know people expect to hear it. It's all James-Bond-Romantical.)

Second, I do know they usually abduct people in the middle of the night. (I know this because I watch movies about it, and you can't get a more reliable source than Hollywood). But see, what they don't know is that I'm usually awake in the middle of the night. If they really want to catch me by surprise, they'll sneak in during THE DAY.

Either way, I'll be waiting for them, and when they creep into my room, I'll whip out my squirt gun filled with Absorbine Jr, and then my OTHER squirt gun with warm water, and aim at the same places.

They'll be so uncomfortable with THAT burn, that they'll retreat and make another plan.

But so will I.

Now, of course, I realize they might be reading THIS TOO...but they don't know whether I'm leaving misinformation either...maybe I'm planting red herrings. Maybe I'm not even who I say I am. Maybe that picture on this blog is not a picture of me. Maybe I'm not even female. Or gay.

Okay, yeah. I AM gay.

News I'd Like to Hear

1. Matthew Lesko was gravely injured when the question mark from a "Got Milk?" sign fell and beaned him on the head.

2. Pat Robertson finally struck by lightning.

3. Bush & Cheney on the run as Federal Marshalls try to serve them with an arrest warrant for War Crimes, High Treason, and various other crimes against humanity. Officer in charge of the manhunt says, "We're gonna stay the course, smoke 'em out, and get 'em runnin'."

4. Jerry Falwell's daughter appears on Penn & Teller's Bullshit, and confesses she is a proud lesbian atheist. She credits her father for her conversion.

5. Monica Lewinsky caught "servicing" McCain.

6. Kelli Jae Baeli receives hefty advance and publishing contract from Random House.

Drag Shows are Aptly Named

Drag shows are aptly named. They are a drag.

Please don't ever expect me to join you at a drag show. I'd sooner perform an appendectomy on myself with a SPOON. And I'm GAY.

All gay bars have drag shows, because apparently, gay people en masse don't have anything else to offer in the entertainment realm. (Notwithstanding the Melissa Etheridge's and Ellen Degeneres's of the world--thank god for them). I'm not expecting a rendition of Bent, but Hell's Bells. Can't they do better than a same tired old stereotypical thing where men and women dress up as women and men and pretend to have talent? Can you pretend to play that unplugged electric guitar any more convincingly? It strikes me as some puerile backyard presentation to mom and dad by a bunch of 7 year olds. "Mom! Mom! Look what *I* can do!"

I know I'm just ripe for an attack from the Homo Hit Squad, but damn! Is being politically correct more important than being honest? I will never understand why people don't want to reach for more in their expressions of selfhood.

And there's another added confusion--is it just me, or is there something inherently wrong with lesbians getting excited about a man, pretending to be a woman? (Like they don't KNOW that under the sequins and fishnet stockings, resides a live, pulsing penis). And the same goes for the drag KINGS. Why would i get excited about a woman pretending to be a man? If I were sexually aroused by a man, I'd be straight.

And have you ever noticed how the audience at drag shows will applaud when the "performer" hits a money-note in the song? Um...hello! He's not REALLY singing, so why are you applauding that? The recording of the REAL singer can't hear you. It's a case of either the willing suspension of disbelief, or the unwitting suspension of rational thought. Either way, something vital is being suspended, and i just find it absurd. I just won't support that crap anymore. I'd rather eat my own brains.

Okay, Homo-Hit-Squad, release the hounds. And you guys try not to break a nail.